Internal Family Systems (IFS)

“A part of me wants to go out to a movie, but another part of me just wants to stay home”

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a ground-breaking model of transformation and healing. It recognizes that we are a ‘multiplicity’, a collection of parts each with different experiences, feelings, thoughts, beliefs and goals. A simple example: “a part of me wants to go out to a movie but another part of me just wants to stay home”. We have many parts and together they make up our personal internal family system.

Sometimes our parts are very active in our system and they run the show, often from outdated beliefs and views of our world (I’m unlovable, I’m worthless). It’s like the tail is wagging the dog. Have you experienced being taken over at times, acting in ways that in hindsight you can see you were not quite yourself or were caught in the grip of emotion or an unhelpful point of view? Have you noticed you can have many internal conversations pulling you in different directions?

The IFS model opens the door to understanding what these parts of us that are causing our turmoil are actually trying to do for us. We learn that they are trying to keep us out of harm’s way, usually emotional harm. These parts of us (for example, a relentless inner critic who tells you harsh things about yourself ) are called ‘protector’ parts and they work hard to keep us safe in some way (stay small and therefore safe in life). Importantly, IFS will never invalidate or try to force parts to change – the approach is one of understanding, acknowledgement and appreciation. As you may have experienced after being deeply listened to and understood, these parts can lessen their grip and allow the deeper wounds they are protecting to be healed. And in this process, you are the one doing the listening.

Your true, authentic Self

This IFS process brings a deeper and deeper connection and relationship with an innate inner presence that we all have, a presence that brings balance and harmony through compassion, curiosity, caring and connection. This presence is our true, authentic Self. More and more you can embrace ‘all of you’ and conduct your life from your own inner wisdom.

Note: my services do not constitute medical care, psychotherapy or psychological treatment.